Jace's Letter (CoG)

How you've been fellow shadowhunters ? This post is to celebrate that it's been 1 month since City of Fallen Angels!! yes, one month ! pretty fast right? 
I think because of this 'long time' it's fair to finally post Jace's letter to Clary, yes the one that was on the special edition of CoFA, the letter as you may know was written by Jace in City of Glass, but in the book you can only find an excerpt of it. 
Are you ready? Here it is! :)

Clary,

Despite everything, I can’t bear the thought of this ring being lost forever, any more than I can bear the thought of leaving you forever. And though I have no choice about the one, at least I can choose about the other. I’m leaving you our family ring because you have as much right to it as I do.

I’m writing this watching the sun come up. You’re asleep, dreams moving behind your restless eyelids. I wish I knew what you were thinking. I wish I could slip into your head and see the world the way you do. I wish I could see myself the way you do. But maybe I don’t want to see that. Maybe it would make me feel even more than I already do that I’m perpetuating some kind of Great Lie on you, and I couldn’t stand that.

I belong to you. You could do anything you wanted with me and I would let you. You could ask anything of me and I’d break myself trying to make you happy. My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can’t have and wanting what you shouldn’t want. And I shouldn’t want you.

All night I’ve watched you sleeping, watched the moonlight come and go, casting its shadows across your face in black and white. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. I think of the life we could have had if things were different, a life where this night is not a singular event, separate from everything else that’s real, but every night. But things are different, and I can’t look at you without feeling like I’ve tricked you into loving me.

The truth no one is willing to say out loud is that no one has a shot against Valentine but me. I can get close to him like no one else can. I can pretend I want to join him and he’ll believe me, up until that last moment where I end it all, one way or another. I have something of Sebastian’s; I can track him to where my father’s hiding. And that’s what I’m going to do. So I lied to you last night. I said that I just wanted one night with you. But I want every night with you. And that’s why I have to slip out of your window now, like a coward. Because if I had to tell you this to your face, I couldn’t make myself go.

I don’t blame you if you hate me, I wish you would. As long as I can still dream, I will dream of you.

- Jace

and here's the picture of the letter :D